Quarter Life Crisis

Ever felt being in a situation in your life that you can't do anything? Like being stuck, and everytime you feel like your getting out of it suddenly the same shit feeling happen again and the cycle goes on and on. And you feel so alone in all these. Sounds familiar? Probably you're having Q.L.C. or Quarter Life Crisis.

The very first person whom I shared about my rants in life (check my 'About Me' box. Hehe) happen to be in the same situation as I am. He was the one to coin that phrase. QLC is like Mid-Life Crisis, the difference only in the age of the person having the crisis. They say it usually starts in mid 20's to early 30's when questions such as "Am I really happy? What do I want to do? What is my purpose in life?" start to transect the cortex and the answers were just left hanging. Combine these questions with difficulty landing in a job because of lack of experience (because you're a fresh grad or plainly inexperienced) leading you to chose a work not related to the degree you had in college. Then here comes your friend, all so successful and tells you how happy he/she is because of what's happening in his life. You feel so insecure and alone. As if the world works against your will. You know you can do something. But you feel so helpless. You feel that everyones leaving and you are left behind.

I am acknowledging the fact that I'm in that situation for almost five months now. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I feel that I'm in the lowest part again. Just like what happen to me last week (that's why I started this blog). I do lose myself sometimes but I have to keep going and help regain my center of gravity. Nobody would help me if I won't help myself. I'm used to that.

So here are my personal and unsolicited advices if you're in that situation. First, STOP COMPARING YOURSELF WITH ANYTHING. I noticed that anxiety attacks happen when I start to compare my present life with my past. In terms of emotional and financial state. As if both were getting below the poverty line. And things would probably feel much worse when you compare your life with others. So just stop comparing.

Second, ACCEPT THE REALITY. The school didn't taught us how to be stong against uncertainties. Instead it taught us how to dream, to spread out our wings and reach for the star. Which I find conflicting to the outside world. Its ok to dream but to tell that you can do anything you dreamed of isn't true with everyone. For instance, you dream of having a 25k paycheck each month as a nurse. That can't happen if you know your an entry level applicant. You have to adjust your dreams and turn it into achievable goals. Change your dream job into a call center agent to earn 25k or change your price into 10k and get those syringes prepared. Start dreaming higher once you achieved the other.

Third, START ANSWERING THOSE QUESTIONS. What is my purpose in life? What are the things I want to do? Etc, etc. If you can't answer these, you're certainly in this phase. Start doing things. Experience stuffs you haven't tried. Find your real passion. Find the things you enjoy and try to invest on it. It's a long way and you might find yourself getting in the situation again and again but there's no easy way. I know this sounds opposite the second one but this would help you find yourself. So you can answer those questions. The richest people in the world are those who work but never felt working because they enjoy what they are doing. Isn't that great?

Lastly, LEARN THE VALUE OF TIME AND THE VIRTUE OF PATIENCE. There are things that you can't control just like this one. So you wait. You wait for the HR to call you. You wait for good things to happen. You wait for your turn in life. You'll get your moment, just wait. Be patient.

Talk to someone, look for a mentor, be with someone. Someone who knows you and really understands your situation. Its gonna be a long journey. Better have someone who listens and can give you advices.

And just to let you know, you are not alone. There are much more people if you only knew. Experiencing the same situation that you are right know. Remember, its just a phase. Chose your own battles. Don't fight everything. You'll get exhausted if you do that. Just let time and things will get better. Hopefully.